Brainless
by Music Writes
Summary: I always knew we wouldn't last. So why did the ending hurt so much?


Sometimes I shock myself with my sheer stupidity.

I knew from the beginning how things would end. I knew from the beginning I'd end up hurt. I knew I'd be the one left in tears, drowning in my pain.

And yet I did it anyway.

What really gets me is it's not even him I'm mad at. I'm not mad at him for breaking my heart. I'm mad at myself, for letting it happen.

I knew from the very first time our eyes locked across the room that nothing good would come from him. But I couldn't stop myself.

Soon looking went to talking, talking went to flirting, and flirting led to kissing. Kissing eventually led to more. We never talked in public. We were never seen in public. We always met up in safe neutral territory. No one saw us together and no one knew.

I didn't love him at first but by the end I only had eyes for him. So the day he walked away from me I lost everything. I cried for hours that night. I didn't sleep I cried. I've heard some people can eventually cry themselves to sleep but I didn't. I just cried and cried and cried. Endless tears fell onto the cold floor beneath me. I hadn't even managed to leave the classroom we'd met up in. I huddled into a little ball and sobbed on the cold floor, pressing my face into the stone and sobbing. There was no sense of decency left in me. I couldn't gather enough self respect to get my self to leave the room. I knew I'd be in for it if he came back, worse if anyone else did. I can vaguely recall a ghost coming in the room at one point but upon seeing me they left. I suppose I was lucky it wasn't Peeves but I was to far gone to care.

Soon the floor under me began to warm and sunlight hit my face. I sniffled one last time and sat up. I smoothed down my hair and dried my face and walked to the door. As I opened it I plastered a fake smile on my face. When I got down to the Great Hall for breakfast I met his eyes again and just like the very first time I couldn't look away.

I wonder what he saw when he looked at me. Could he see the dried tear tracks, the fact I was in yesterday's clothes, that my hair was ratty and dirty, that my eyes were red rimmed?

I do know he looked down at his plate after looking at me. That I couldn't handle. I stood on shaky legs feeling my knees knock together. I could feel my friends' eyes on me as I stood and walked away from the table. I walked across the Hall and towards his table feeling more and more eyes fall on me. But none were his. Soon I was standing directly across from him and he still stared at his plate. When he finally could no longer look at his plate without it being suspicious he looked up.

"Patil." He said by way of greeting. "To what do we owe this honor? Does your sister know you're over here?"

Yet he still did not meet my eyes. I leaned in front of him placing my hands carefully on either side of his plate. I ignored his words, I knew he only did it for show. He knew why I was here and he knew if my sister knew I was over here I wouldn't be. Dimly in the back of my mind I wondered where my sister was but I shoved the thought aside. I leaned closer into his face as he finally met my eyes.

I stared into those pale grey eyes, eyes that looked so guarded now. But I'd seen them completely free, beautiful and able to see the world as the same. Eyes that used to meet mine and shine like the night stars. I stared into those eyes well aware of the fact that my own brown ones were red rimmed and dry. I just stared into them and looked at him. He looked perfectly immaculate just as he did every other day. The only difference is usually he hadn't just destroyed a girl's world the night before.

I leaned foreword and placed my lips on his in a quick chaste kiss. I ignored the whispers and gasps that erupted in the hall and hearing a strangled groan I knew my sister was now in the Hall. I ignored them all and placed my forehead against Draco's staring into his now shocked eyes. I leaned foreword and placed my mouth by his ear and whispered so only he could hear. "The only thing I have to say is this, I hope this makes your lips taste of me forever."

With that I pulled away and met his eyes one last time. "Parvarti…" he began in a voice no bigger then a whisper. But I turned cutting him off. I didn't need to hear his excuses, his lies. He broke my heart and that was all that I needed to know.

Maybe when he broke my heart he forgot I could feel.


End file.
